Three cheers for fiscal responsibility

“Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…and we will give you a medical bill as long as my arm…you no good mooching rascals!”

Ok, not quite the historical quote you had in mind – but I can imagine the Parkland Hospital power players uttering something like this in one of their recent strategy meetings – and who can blame them?

First, a couple of weeks ago, Parkland scored major political points with many by stating that the hospital would be sending medical bills to Mexico (and other foreign countries) for the cost of treating their citizens. This also includes sending bills to surrounding counties for treating their citizens as well (Collin County…you know who you are).

Parkland Hospital is a Dallas County hospital – and once you get past the structured chaos of the emergency waiting room, it happens to be one of the best trauma centers in the world. I venture to say that the indigent of Dallas County receive better care than some of the well-to-do citizens of other areas. But here is the problem – people outside of Dallas County know this. People know that they can get treatment, top treatment, for free or reduced price at Parkland simply by lying about their residency or income. And after years of don’t ask don’t tell policy toward treating illegal immigrants (they don’t ask if you are hear legally and you don’t dare tell them you aren’t) Parkland has finally decided to drop the political correctness stance and send those countries (and counties) a bill.

I say bravo Parkland. And bravo for the latest development – going after those who lied about their income in order to qualify for reduced/free treatment. To those who can afford to pay – make em pay. For those who can afford something – pay “something”. We (tax payers in Dallas County) are then left footing the bill for the poorest of the poor and not the “poorest of the rich”. I know there is the whole HMO, cost of drugs, malpractice insurance issue the weighs heavily on the cost of healthcare, but so does the cost of treating for free all those who don’t really “deserve” free treatment. It’s the same reason my car insurance costs so much, part of my premium goes to cover those who don’t have insurance.

In practice, Parkland won’t see a single dime from Mexico. They are in business to export their poor to the U.S. If they were going to take care of their population they would be doing it in Mexico. I do think they can have some success collecting from the surrounding counties and from those dead-beat’s who lied about the income. “Yeah, I know my company offers insurance…but the deductible is just too high to participate…I would rather just get free treatment from Parkland”. And this quote or something like it comes from the mid-level manager who can afford daily $3 mochas, a $150 cell phone bill and a $6 six pack on the weekends – but cant “afford” to carry insurance.

Hopefully Parkland will collect some back due money and enhance their already top-notch services. And if for some reason I am injured on the way home from work today…I live in Dallas and I only make $5/hour!

Magic...sort of

I occasionally get these odd-ball gifts from other companies trying to curry favor with me, as if I have the ability to decide who my company does business with. The gifts usually take the shape of some type of “squeeze ball” which I suppose it to help relieve stress. Funny thing, they actually work better when you paint a picture of your boss or Dwayne Wade on the ball and then proceed to SQUEEZ!

But I digress. The last two gifts have been pretty cool. This one company from the northeast specializing in corporate restructuring sent me last month a first aid kit (to tie into their marketing idea that they “don’t just provide a band-aid solution”). But my favorite is what they sent me last week – the Magic Eight Ball.

You know what I’m talking about - the big black ball with the number 8 on it. You turn it upside down and it tells you the answer to the question you are asking. Since I don’t believe in all that psychic crap, I play a slightly different game with it. I turn it upside down and see the answer and THEN make up a question.

Answer: “Ask me again”
Question: “What does my wife have to do to get me to take out the trash?”

Answer: “Very doubtful”
Question: “Will I ever get to sleep in just one morning between now and when the kids are out of the house?”

Answer: “Without a doubt”
Question: “Will I get yelled at for always having my wife ‘ask me again’ to take the trash out?”

This Magic Eight Ball is a lot of fun. Of course, I have no idea how this ties in to their marketing, but I guess should I ever need to restructure my corporation then I will know who to call.